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Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Dieting and other recent events

I am on a diet. I have never really tried to lose weight before, but so far it is going better than I expected. I have lost around 6 lbs since the beginning of the year. I am pretty excited that my plan is working.

My plan was to first eliminate sweetened drinks and then begin portion control. I can eat anything I want but in smaller quantity. I am using an app called My Fitness pal on my phone. I often have to estimate my intake, but it keeps me thinking about it and provides some accountability. The next phase will involve adding exercise.

I am not sure what I will do but am considering starting a running plan and maybe try to run a 5k and work up to a half marathon. It is probably ambitious but I think having a goal is good. I started off around 202 lbs and hope to get down to my bench-warming, pitching chart keeping weight (never really had a "playing weight". This is around 170-175 lbs. I am excited that this is starting off well. Hopefully I can develop more discipline and stick with it.

It has been a good week so far. We celebrated Lynn's birthday with authentic wood fired pizza from Besso's. I gave her a new iMac and enjoyed setting it up or her. Then I was surprised Monday night to receive the "founder's award" from The Jackson Clinic which is a bit like being the rookie of the year in our group. All docs with less than five years in the group were eligible. I feel quite honored to receive this award from my colleagues. I had no idea that such an award even existed and I really have no clue what I did to deserve it. Regardless, it was nice to receive the award, and it confirms again that moving to Jackson and joining the Jackson Clinic was the right career move for me.

I truly am a fortunate person and the last several days have reminded me of how good I have it. I am excited to be able to work with a great group of doctors and to have time to spend with my wife and daughters. We are beginning to plan out spring break trip to Aruba and are looking forward to fun times this spring and summer.

Monday, January 21, 2013

Mission Trips

In my post earlier today, I mentioned vulnerability, transparency and disagreement.  I find that I frequently do not hold positions that are in line with how I am "supposed to think."  I will use mission trips as an example.  This may also offer insight on why I never posted about my Nicaragua trip.
I also hope to articulate my thought on mission work and the future it holds for me.
As a good Southern Baptist, Sunday School teacher, ordained deacon (although inactive) and "decent Christian guy" I have often thought that I should be more supportive of mission work.  I faithfully give to my church and financially support the ministries of our local church, but I felt the need to be more "involved".  This brought about my decision to go on a short term medical mission trip to Nicaragua in July of 2011.

Most who go on a trip like this, in my experience, come back re-energized in their faith and with a real burden for the folks they ministered to.  Honestly, this was not my experience.  I have been reluctant to post about the trip because of how I feel.   I really thought that maybe something was wrong with me.  How did I miss the spiritual rejuvenation that everyone else seems to get from such a trip?  Was my attitude in the wrong place? Possibly.

I learned something important from that trip. First and foremost is that it was not about me.  I think I wanted to go to feel better about myself and to have the gratification of doing something significant.  So, yes, my attitude was centered on me, not Christ and his glory.  That was on me and likely robbed me of some of the blessing of going.  Secondly, I realized that the people I went to serve were not in dire medical need.  Nicaragua has a national health care system, and I think most of the people we ministered to had decent access to that system.  As a result, I felt like I spent some time taking care of  a lot of people who really didn't need me. I came away feeling that the week of penicillin that I prescribed for a sore throat would have very little lasting impact.  We were in a village that had a thriving church, so the people were even pretty familiar with the Christian gospel.  Consequently, we saw very few decisions for Christ during the week.

So there I was.  Away from my family, in a hot, sticky, village with a bunch of people that I hardly knew, feeling like I was out of place. Being out of my comfort zone was not as much of a concern as the lack of fulfillment.  I missed it.  Mostly because I went with the wrong attitude, but also because I really had a fundamental misunderstanding of effective mission work.

I know that many of the people who went on the trip were blessed and felt used, so I do not want to convey the idea that the trip was a waste of time. i also know the deep love and commitment our team leaders and the organization have for the people of Nicaragua  I also know that if even one person made a decision to follow Christ that it was worth it.  I also know that some serious medical needs were addressed, some that will have life changing effects.  We were able to have several patients enrolled in a plan that will allow for necessary surgery that may not have been possible, yet for the vast majority, I fear that our one week visit will have little reaching impact.

I came back jaded.  I thought that I would never do that again.  I read articles from organized mission groups and looked at the impact of short term American mission trips on third world countries.  I became convinced that many of these short term trips are more for us than the people or God that we go to serve.

I still believe that to a degree. Does this mean that I do not believe in the Great Comission? Hardly. I actually have a stronger commitment to missions now than before the trip.  How can this be, if I had such an underwhelming experience? I have come to the conclusion that the impact of mission work must be measured more by the impact on individuals.  I also think it is more meaningful when relationships can be firmly established and the impact of ministry can be evaluated over a long time.

I am not against short term mission work.  I have also come to the realization that for me, it must be done in a way that has a long term impact.  I also think that it is more effective when partnering with a local church and pastor/missionary where teams can minister to a group of people over a long period of time, and develop relationships with those they are ministering to.  Mission work is only effective when it seeks to fulfill the Great Commission (to share the gospel) and the Great Commandment ( to,love your neighbor as yourself). I learned that going to feel like I am doing something important is the wrong attitude. I came away from my experience convinced that supporting local missionaries in the field by giving financial support may be the most effective way to impact lives, but also being willing to sacrifice time to meet needs that will have a lasting impact on a community of people to see the love of Christ. I know that this can be done in multiple ways and short term mission trips play a role in this. Am I ever going back on the short term mission field? YES! But it will not be to make some unknown face feel better for five to seven days. It will not be medical work at all. I am going with my church to Dominica to support a local baptist church there which has identified needy families in need of adequate shelter. I have very little building experience, but I know that everyone needs a safe place to call home. I will go and help in this process however I am needed. I may hold boards or carry a nail bucket. I will go because a church there has developed a relationship with people in need and with our church. I hope it develops into a long term relationship with the people of Dominica. I pray it makes a difference for someone. I am not looking for a life changing experience. I just want to meet a need and have the capability and opportunity to do that. I think my attitude is better this time. I will be more aware of how God is moving in the small things, and I will try to focus less on me. I hope it is something I can develop into a long term commitment. In time, I may even want to try to organize a medical team to help with these people. I will look to see where God is leading and try to join in the work. I am excited that my church, Englewood Baptist, is committed to making impactful relationships through local, national, and international efforts. I plan to become more involved in local efforts as well. The needs of people in Jackson are great and we have an opportunity to meet those needs. My pastor preached on "lost things" Sunday. The lost sheep, the lost coin, and the prodigal son. Recognizing how God values people and longs to bring them close to him motivates me to get more involved. I have a changed attitude about mission work, and I am looking forward to meeting and serving the people of Dominica.

Why did I wait so long?

I haven't thought about blogging in a long time.  My last post indicated that I was about to go on a medical trip to Nicaragua. That was almost two years ago.  I never even bothered to post my thoughts on the trip.  Why not? There is no simple answer. Life happens. Busyness  invades and holds hostage the quiet moments when there might be time to share a thought, a humorous story, a struggle.  You think no one cares or that there is nothing important to say, and the next thing you know, two years have gone by.

I hope that this entry will be the start of a season of consistency for me.  Not because I think I have something important to say, or that I will post anything of relevance, but because I believe introspection is important in order to stay grounded. I think writing is therapeutic for me and I enjoy confirming my thoughts and ideas. It helps me commit my ideas and strengthens my positions. It offers me a window into my own mind.  On paper or screen, I can sort it all out, and try to make sense of the world.

I am not a very transparent person. I do not like the vulnerability that often comes with sharing my thoughts with others.  I do think it is necessary for the development of healthy relationships. The beauty of writing is the ability to define and refine a thought, a story or a position with clarity.  It is the opportunity to speak your mind without haste or interruption.  It offers the chance to say what you really mean.  I understand that posting here may fuel the fire of someone that sees the world differently from me, or that I may stumble and bumble through some issue that makes me look like a fool. But I can try to share what I think and along the way figure things out.  The process of sharing my thoughts makes me more transparent and requires that I trust those reading enough to bear with me.  This is both a frightening and exciting experience as their is the opportunity to communicate in a meaningful way, yet with the possibility of disagreement and rejection.

I am ready to start this adventure again.  I often enjoy the blogs of other friends and I think that I should plunge in and enjoy sharing my thoughts rather than guarding them tightly.  I hope you enjoy my future posts.  I will try not to disappear for so long again.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

NICARAGUA

As many of you know I am leaving with a group of dedicated doctors, nurses, pharmacists, and human beings for the village of Israel in the Chinandega region of Nicaragua this weekend.  We are going to meet medical, dental, veterinary, and most of all spiritual needs of the people in this region.  I am excited and frightened at the same time.

I have wanted to go on a mission trip for a number of years but I have never been in a position financially or been available from a time standpoint.  When we moved to Jackson, we were blessed with a very flexible schedule and greater financial security.  Because of this, I began to look for opportunities.  Shortly after we began attending Englewood Baptist Church, the summer mission opportunities were listed.  I also began reading the book Radical by David Platt.  This book really challenged me to look outside my comfort zone.  I soon discovered that one of my partners at the Jackson Clinic, Dr. Jenkins would be on the Nicaragua trip.  I spent some time in prayerful consideration, in discussion with my wife, Lynn, and with Dr. Jenkins.  I became convinced that the Lord was providing me an opportunity to serve on His mission field in Nicaragua. 

There have been very few times in my life when I have been so certain of what I should do.  I am very excited for the opportunity.  I am frightened, or maybe I should say concerned about a number of things.  I have never been away from Lynn and the girls this long without any communication.  I am concerned for their safety and sense of well being in my absence.  I have never been out of the United States.  It may seem odd, but I never had the opportunity to leave before.  The idea of being on foreign soil in a country where I do not speak the language is a bit unnerving, if only because it is unknown to me.  The entire process of international travel is a bit overwhelming since it is my first time.  The task before me is daunting.  We will each see about 200-250 patients a day with the aid of an interpreter.  Our supplies and medications are limited.  I have never tried to see this volume of patients even when I can communicate effectively. I hope that I can be of some aid to these people.  I have concerns about the heat and lack of air conditioning, the lack of indoor plumbing, and whether or not I will get adequate rest.  I am also concerned about picking up some tropical infection or parasite.  I have taken the malaria prophylaxis, typhoid and hepatitis A vaccines as well as Tetanus.  All of this has me filled with a bit of angst, but I am mostly excited.

I am planning to journal the experience and take as many photographs as time will allow.  I plan to post my experience on this blog when I return.  In the meantime, please keep me in your prayers.  I will be out of telephone and cellular range most of next week.  There will be no Internet access until I get home, so the updates will have to wait.  Please pray that we have safe travel.  Pray that our supplies are in order and that we can help meet the physical needs of the villagers.  Pray for those who will preach the gospel.  That is after all why we are going.  I hope that all along the way folks see the love of Christ in us.  Pray that we will remember who we are and to Whom we belong.  Pray that we make much of Jesus.  This trip will be a success if even one person accepts Christ as savior.  I am thankful that I have been given gifts that allow me to minister to folks physically, but even more thankful that those gifts open a door to allow our group to meet spiritual needs as well.  Finally pray for our health and for our families who anxiously await our return.  I will update everyone on our trip when I return next week.

As our leader, Adrian Cross, always says, Dios es tan bueno!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Summer Vacation

I can't believe that summer vacation is already halfway over.  I always hope that when school is out our pace will slow down and be more relaxed.  I think all that really happens is that our busy lives are occupied with different but not fewer activities. 

So far this summer we have been to swim meets, vacation bible school, swimming lessons, the beach, and camp.  We have also welcomed a new addition to the family, my niece Charlotte (Charley).  Throw in some trips to Memphis to visit the grandparents and new cousin and our summer has been non stop busy.  And it is only halfway through.  I am leaving Saturday for a medical mission trip to Nicaragua (more on that soon).  We also have cousins and aunt/uncle from East TN coming for a visit, and then a trip to Santa Claus, IN to go to Holiday World and Splashin' Safari.  We are finding time in the middle of all of that to have Sydney's Sunday School class over for a cookout and swim party.  I also will squeeze in a week on the night shift. 

After that we get to start school all over again...  Trying to find peace and quiet along with rest in the chaos is difficult.  It takes work and effort to relax.  That may not make much sense, but I hope to find more ways in the future to work smarter and carve out more time for relaxation.  It is worth it.  At least the things we have been busy doing are a lot of fun! (except the upcoming night shift)

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Random thoughts on travel

I haven't posted anything in a while.  I guess there has not been much to say.  I have been very busy with work and I am enjoying it.  I love the randomness of the patients that I see and not being tied to a schedule.  It makes every day an adventure.  I will admit that I am tired though.  I am looking forward to some time off in March.  Lynn and I are taking a long weekend trip to New Orleans without the kids.  It will be our first trip without them since before Savannah was born. We are then proceeding to the Gatlinburg area for the rest of spring break.  It will be good for the kids to have some fun and they will get to see their cousins in East TN.

I really can't wait to go to New Orleans.  It is one of may favorite places to go.  It's funny to me that many folks go down there to party. Not me.  I am looking forward to eating at some wonderful restaurants.  I plan to go to Deanie's, Redfish Grill, Acme Oyster, Felix's and maybe the Gumbo Shop.  I want to see the Garden District in full spring bloom with the azaelas and dogwoods and other flowers.  I am looking forward to roaming through the French Market, and browsing the antique shops and art galleries of the Rue Royal.  I hope to catch some live music and just sit and feel the jazz and blues.  I may stop in to the piano bar at Pat O'Briens and listen for a while.  I might even drop a request in the glass.  I am ready for the warm spring sun and some time away with my wife.  I am probably expecting too much, but it sure sounds good on these dark winter days.

I am also looking forward  to our East TN trip.  We haven't decided what to do yet.  I hope to take the kids to Wonder Works.  We may take the drive through Cades Cove or ride the tram up the mountain to Ober Gatlinburg.  I am looking forward to the scenery and some fun with the kids.  It will be nice to get away from spelling words, vocabulary tests, popcorn words and math.  I think one of the reasons that Lynn and I have waited so long to go on a trip alone, is that we really enjoy taking the kids.  It really makes for more fun.  I hope that we can take them to Disney again this fall and maybe to Universal Studios as well.  We will drive again (Lynn hates flying) but getting there will be part of the fun. 

I really want to go out West soon too.  I have never been to the Rockies or seen the Grand Canyon.  I just can't decide where to go.  Yellowstone?  Yosemite?  Lake Tahoe?  Las Vegas?  San Francisco?  So many choices.  I think it is definitely on the agenda.  I will do what I usually do...research what there is and discuss it until everyone is sick of it, then we will finally decide where to go, and then I get to go "Griswold!"  I am really looking forward to it.

Until these times, I guess I will keep at the grindstone at the hospital, and hope like mad for spring to come soon!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Perpetual Unpacking

My in-laws are coming for a night.  No biggie.  Jackson is a bit closer to East TN than Millington.  The kids get to see their grandparents.  We will have dinner.  All is good.  Except for the boxes.

The guest room is (now was) full of boxes yet to be dealt with.  We went through most of them.  Stuff was put away.  Some will be tossed.  Some donated.  Some stuff is now in the attic.  Another phase of moving and unpacking complete.

I think we will be unboxing stuff forever.  When we are finally settled and have our house like we want it, I will probably sit down in my chair to blog in celebration, and die!  Unpacking seems never ending.  Hopefully we will be finished soon.  At least in time to...unbox the Christmas decorations!